NüWhip - A reflection and way forward.
Reflection - I clearly know nothing about cars
Yeah so this one was quite the blow to my ego, but looking back- I don't actually care enough about how cars work to justify the amount of hours I was willing to put into understanding all the nuance of a FULLY FUNCTIONAL car physics system.
For context the current playable build was created using this for of a car physics system: https://github.com/msklywenn/ArcadeCarPhysics. It worked for the initial bit, but is a bit too buggy and is not really fitting my needs. So I bit the bullet and paid for AshDevs controller on the asset store. I have also put some time into getting some cool particle effects going!
Maybe as I progress I will be able to get deeper into the inner working of yk...the core component of a racing game. The reality right now is that:
- My resources are still very limited
- I work two jobs to just tryyyyyyy and create a sustainable life that allows room for game dev
- My mental health is not the best-
Actually, let's take a second to discuss that.
Being Black, Queer, and Exhausted
I used to dream of being a writer, but being a young, black, and sensitive in an all boys high school does a lot to your confidence. Note, adjustments required. But looking into the now, several years later, with a whole ass degree,I feel that same existential exhaustion the mourning child felt. All just layered with the experience to cope from twenty odd years on this spinning sphere.
With our people's financial literacy being rapidly eroded by Religious businesses and critical thinking often being put aside acceptance of colonial norms and "traditional" dogma. Can you see how this quickly becomes unsustainable? Our state throws us all the same neoliberal solution of: becoming an *entrepreneur*, or more colloquially, a vendor.
I watch as our African "leaders" continue to treat their black skin as disposable and cannot help but wonder as I work on silicon forged from my peoples blood- is this game serving a purpose? I can go on Youtube and watch as Palestinian voices beg for us to help while displayed as just A day in my life in Gaza. To not get stuck in the grief, while continuing with the scars. The collective conscious is not well.
The urge to work on a video game at any point can be a great cause of cognitive dissonance in such times. Art shapes culture, which needs art to exist and continue to shift the narrative.
Telling Tales - A Forward Approach
Breathe and do what you must, walk steady and seek clarity. That is how I aim to approach the development of this game. I am in for the long run it seems :')
Understanding my limitations, the lack of resources and time, as well as the deteriorating mental state will be integral. I want this to be beautiful.
Things I Enjoy
Rico Nasty Tiny Desk
Black music always HAS and WILL BE PUNK. We love you Rico!!! Like on a real note, LETHAL (2025) is such a fun and beautiful experience.
Zimbabwean Author - Tisti Dangarembga
I'm quite upset I only got to read Nervous Conditions now. I have not felt quite seen in a while in a piece of text.
Readings
Finding My Africa, Finding Myself by Dr Foluke Adebisi
Solarpunk: lenses and foundations by alxd
Thank you for reading all the way through. If you would like to support my work, please do consider buying me a kofi <3
Get Neon Underground
Neon Underground
A story of liberated speed. Can you drive to freedom?
More posts
- Private Demo!!72 days ago
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.